March 07, 2006

Darkest when?

Not before the dawn. I've been awake 24 hours, and I assure you, in this hemisphere, in Wonderland, it is much darker at midnight....just in case you were curious. I wasn't, particularly, but independent (i.e., of my will to sleep) tests conducted last night prove otherwise.

Pitch black? Street lamps shine in my window, so that concept is shot, too. Do I mind? I would if I were trying to function today. I've given that up as a bad joke. Apparently the "darkness before the dawn" dates to Biblical days. Either I hallucinated last night, or it is a truism no one has bothered to confirm.

Or phone in. These days I figure if some news flash is that important, someone will telephone to let me know. This has been proven, on 9/11, as it happens. Someone could have carpet-bombed Manhattan, and I doubt I would have awakened to hear the impact.

Add sleep disorder to my list of complaints, if the page has any lines remaining. PMS is occupying a large slot as a deterrent to my competence and coherency. That is, assuming it's not menopause. Or would that be mental-pause?

Pardon me, I'm a bit punchy. Lack of sleep combined with pain combined with tranquilizing meds throws me sideways. At least that's the position I assume I'm in. Either that, or I've defied gravity, and no one's called in to report a shortage thereof.

In "The Dead," Joyce Carol Oates wrote: "Ilena thought it wisest to avoid complete mental alertness. That is was an overrated American virtue." Granted, no one would consider these political times a demonstration of such overrated virtue. Yet I must agree, mental alertness? Overrated is an understatement. I suspect I am lucky it is one from which I am not suffering.

I'm regressing quickly to the "ignorance is bliss" stage of life. If you have to phone it in, chances are, I don't want to take the call. In the words of Pink Floyd, "I have become comfortably numb." Or I'm headed straight there.

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2 Comments:

Blogger scout said...

Have you tried the ol' reverse psychology? I think the best way to get to sleep when the mind isn't cooperating is to fake left: Pretend you're in a sleep-deprivation experiment and that it's very important you stay awake. With any luck, you'll be drifting off in no time.

Oh, and there's always my good friend Seroquel.

4:34 PM  
Blogger Brighton said...

Wishing you sweet dreams and sleep. So sorry.

12:32 PM  

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