So you wanna be VP...

Lipstick or not, you'll have to be fixed and carefully outfitted before you visit England.

For the geographically clueless (whoops, was that you?), it's part of a famous island off the coast of continental Europe, adjacent to your Irish refueling stop.

Consult a map for more precise whereabouts. Beware the Dangerous Dogs Act of 1991.

Under that law and its 1997 amendment, it is:

"illegal to own any Specially Controlled Dogs [pit bull terriers and cross breeds thereof included] without specific exemption from a court.

"The dogs have to be muzzled and kept on a leash in public; they must be registered and insured, neutered, tattooed, and receive microchip implants. The Act also bans the breeding, sale and, exchange of these dogs, even if they are on the Index of Exempted Dogs."

Need more travel tips? Go ask Alice at alice dot uptown at gmail dot com.