November 16, 2004

the depressive's quick weight loss diet

I went in for my annual physical today -- turns out I have lost ten or twelve pounds in a month, or 10 % of my body weight. Internist happy, shrink sad. You can't satisfy doctors no matter how you feel; the best you can do is get drugs to help out somehow. The jury is still out on the orthopedist and the neurologist.

What I want to know is why, for someone who doesn't even "look her age," I have a medical history that would make my mom wonder how she gave birth to me. Or to my brother, who also has medical stumbling blocks along the way. But not my mom -- she's off in Ireland for two weeks, on one once-a-day pill, and her weight has held steady at 96 to 99 pounds for as long as I can remember. Evidently there were some genes on my father's side that she is proud not to be responsible for. My mother is one strong lady. I wish I'd cultivated that side of the genetic pool, but did I have a choice? We are our DNA.

Or so I've learned from all the TV crime shows I've watched in the past ten years. Hell, I don't even have fingerprints on record. Demonstrates that I've been sufficiently law-abiding not to get busted for anything -- my friends have arrest records ranging from political protests to "quality of life" issues to drunk driving. I've always said, if you need bail, give me a call. As long as they take AmEx or VISA.

I'll get you a lawyer, and then, maybe, I'll find some food for me.

It might help if I took the books out of the oven, where they were being stored in preparation for a paint job that may take months to transpire. Contractors and reliability do not belong, as I well know, in the same sentence. And when you live in a 100-family co-op apartment building, anything more challenging than getting a lightbulb changed may require a special meeting of the board of directors. But that is a story for another day.

On the bright side, a friend sent me this reminder: Subject: sure hope history repeats itself:

"A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over,their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight,restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in themeantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors ofa war and long oppressions of enormous public debt......If the game runssometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, andthen we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we havelost, for this is a game where principles are at stake."
-- Thomas Jefferson, 1798, after the passage of the Sedition Act


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